Dear Daddy

You cant be erased,
I see your features on my face,
every time I look into a mirror,
I quiver,
For the memory of you is still in place,
I felt like I was deleted and erased,
I used to cry,
Cry so hard I would get headaches,
I tried to get you out of my mind,
But I cant get you off of my face,
I see you every time I see me,
I still feel like a little girl waiting for her daddy,
I’m scared to grow up,
But I think I’m ready,
My love for you is still the same,
Strong,
I know that may be wrong,
And I know that you’re to blame,
I want you to be a daddy,
Strong, proud, and steady,
I don’t think your stable or ready,
I want you to be loved,
I don’t want you to feel like your alone,
You will not be shoved out of my life,
Even though your words feel like knives,
Ripping through the part of me that knows your lies,
I want you to be known,
Not for the hurt you gave,
But for your humor, your smile, your heart,
The part that people don’t see,
Your heart with bars surrounding,
Nothing gets in,
Nothing gets out,
Your heart begins drowning,
You forget you have a heart,
The part that made you drown in the first place,
I love you,
I know how I feel,
You need to love you,
So you can heal that part of you that you’ve ignored,
The sore pit in your chest,
Its still beating,
Its still bleeding,
Its not gone,
Its forgotten.

-Ashley O'Rourke